In this era of unemployment that is existing in our banana republic, young people are doing whatever it takes to make money, meet their bills and generally survive.
Analysts in fact, attribute the current trend in hitherto ‘weird’ job tags like influencers to the serious unemployment going on in the world and the transformation of the internet community.
We don’t know why, but most Twitter Influencers in our banana republic are men and this has made most of our sisters fall in the sharp claws of these Royal Princes in the Bonkdom.
Due to continuous flow of gigs from these gig plugs, many Twitter girls have been able to afford rent, upkeep and look fabulous while at it. The smart ones, have gone on to ‘date’ these plugs so that they’re automatically considered whenever a gig comes up.
Today, we shall profile for you the girls and also authoritatively mention the men that they have decided to date so that they always get the gigs.
Charlotte is without doubt bonking Arthur, even a first year that joined Twitter yesterday has figured that out. Arthur is a powerful media personnel in the government and being an influencer, he gets most of the government deals for online campaigns.
Being the smart girl she is, Charlotte moved first, before any other online girl could and cuffed the man we have since learned is from Kabale.
It has been about three years now of rigorous and never ending bonking. Close sources to the couple say Charlotte is as good as moved in with Arthur. We have learned that in the seven days of the week, Charlotte spends eight at Arthur’s place.
Another quick and smart girl on the app has been this fine gyalis from Teso. Lynduh Dorcus studied trends and realized that the tall and skinny Geno Eric (a joker online) would turn out big in a short while. That was late 2017 when Geno was still struggling with about 4K followers on Twitter.
About a year and half later, Geno actually became big on Twitter – all thanks to his regular clowning and Lynduh eventually strolled her big ass to him, on a silver platter.
We don’t exactly know what Geno does for a living other than influencing but what we know is that he has the income to clap Lynduh’s fat booty for breakfast, lunch and supper.
She has tight marked her man to the extent that Geno cannot accept to work on a gig if you’re not also hiring his woman. “His terms are simple, hire him and hire Lynduh if you really want his services.” A close friend of the couple told our reporter.
Forehead so long you’d think she is carrying a landing site for our Bombardier air planes. But guess what? That is what mesmerized the Munyonyo Speke Resort Head of Digital, Raheem Abdul, and he is now so smitten you’d think he is horny 24/7.
Praise and Raheem started out about a year ago when the latter assumed a full time role as the Head of Digital for the Rupharelia owned Munyonyo Commonwealth Resort.
The two are so in love now, they subtweet each other every minute. As a reward for loyally serving her thumbie to Raheem, Praise is always number one on all Rupharelia gigs. From Speke Resort, Kabira Country Club, Goat Races all the way to Fresh Kid at Kampala Parents School.
We could not finish this article without mentioning this legendary (pun very much intended) couple from Twitter.
The story goes, that while a one Kera was checking through DMs like he does regularly, he came across a light and thick MUBS chic who responded lovingly top his flirts and the two consequently hooked up.
However, it is said that deep in her mind, the thick chic was targeting Kera’s gigs and she had vowed to do anything to get them. Including opening her proverbial floodgates to heaven for him to enter.
After several rounds of smashing, the two even went to Twitter and disorganized it with a hashtag #WeMetOnTwitter where they paraded glorious photos of them at a photo shoot and left the broke influencers cursing.
One of the most prominent broke influencers, Paul Webbs – who the other month was bundled out of hangout spot Kenji’s for looking like a thief, was overheard cursing the couple because a friend of his had assured him point blank that Joy is prettier than his baby mama.
Some of you will read this article and get so mad, but after you’ll ask yourselves “where is the lie?” and you will move on.